Sorry, Wrong Channel, Charles!
by ThePink1 at Reefside.Net
Summary: Something weird is going on, and it isn't just in Bayville! SERIOUSLY crack-fic, but guaranteed fun! R & R, please.
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry, Wrong Channel!**

A Crossover fanfic by _A J_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters, but the plot is all mine.

Prequel Chapter 1

Just after _Cruise Control_:

The massive energy wave flashed over Salem Center like a forest fire, burning away all that was before.

Charles Xavier woke up with a start. _'What a bizarre dream,'_ he thought, sitting up. He looked around his room for a second, his mind still resonating with the strange cries he'd awoken hearing. He opened his mind to find his students. Most of them had just gotten back from a Caribbean cruise, so were still sleeping the exhausted sleep of travelers. Those few students he could sense were having the usual dreams of teens, some with their powers present, others living various incidents over without their gifts in evidence. He grinned sadly at those, hoping the dreams would serve their therapeutic purpose without becoming a larger issue.

He paused when he got to Rogue. She wasn't dreaming. She was sitting up in the infirmary, staring out the window and humming quietly to herself as she watched a gentle snowfall that was just starting. The song caught his inner ear through hers, and he smiled wider. "Let it snow, indeed, Marie," he murmured quietly as he settled back down to try to sleep again.

He was just fading back to sleep when the most bizarre wave of energy swept across the Institute grounds, and he sprang upright with a shout at the touch of the alien energy. He fought, he cried, he used every psychic technique he'd ever learned to safeguard himself, but all to no avail. With a last gasp, Charles Xavier, foremost expert on mutation, and one of the most powerful telepaths in the world, succumbed to the strange wave of power, and fainted.

_Wrong Channel!_

Kurt teleported down to breakfast as he usually did, only to drop into his usual seat with a cry. He was used to being the weird one at the table, but this morning, it looked like someone had called a costume party, and had Mystique's help!

None of the students looked human, even the few who still had two arms and two legs. He spent several seconds trying to figure out who was who, then just gave up with a sigh. "Something tells me ve'll be needing those 'Hi, my name is' tags from ze open house back," he muttered.

"Hi Kurt!" a small pink cat said from halfway down the other side of the table. Looking up again at the sound of the familiar overly-cheerful voice in surprise in the middle of the somber crowd, he couldn't help returning the grin he saw.

"Kitty! Vhat happened to everybody?" he asked, popping from his seat and reappearing behind hers. She gave a laugh, and nibbled some eggs from her plate without the help of a fork or hands … well, paws, he amended to himself.

"Call me Skitty," she said with a grin. She nabbed her last bite of eggs up, then sprang down from her seat. "Come on, let's leave the gloomy gusses to their moping. None of them believe me, anyway. The professor's been up all morning though, and he thinks I might be right."

"Right about vhat?" Kurt worried. She gave him a long look.

"You haven't looked in a mirror yet, have you?"

"No …" He was about to ask her why when they got out of the kitchen and Kitty paused before the long mirror Jean had put in for students to check themselves after breakfast with. There was the little pink cat that his best friend had been transformed into, and next to her was … He drew a blank for a second, then his mind told him he must be looking at … himself! "AAAAHH!" he cried, jumping back. He was used to being blue and fuzzy. Seeing everyone else turned into some_thing_ else had originally made him wonder if he was awake yet, but their reactions had been subdued, almost fatalistic. He knew he was usually the last to get up most days, but this had been worse than normal, and he wondered just how far behind the others he was today.

Now, he looked himself over in the mirror. He was still blue, but now it was a pale blue, and half of him was tan in large swaths from shoulder to stomach, and his arms were skinny to the point of being just bone. And his face was … he couldn't put a name to it, even though he could swear it looked familiar. His whole head looked flatter and wider, like a caricature of his former self, with his usual curly black hair pulled into a topknot like a sumo wrestler. He noted with relief that he still had his tail, and swished it once to calm himself down. Kitty giggled beside him, and leaped over it like a jumprope.

"Hey!" He stopped himself at the wide grin she gave him. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he accused.

"How could I not? Everybody's _Poke'mon,_ Kurt! Even Ororo and the Professor!" Her grin threatened to split her face in half.

"Poke'mon?"

"Yeah!" She nudged him to look back in the mirror again. "C'mon, you helped me complete my Poke'dex on Emerald and Leafgreen; don't tell me you don't recognize a Meditite when one stares you in the face."

Kurt thought hard about the funny animals in Kitty's collection of her favorite video games. The face before him did look familiar … but, "How did ve all get turned into creatures from a video game, Kitty?"

"I told you, it's Skitty! At least until we get this sorted out. And for that, we need to go see the Professor. Professors, actually. Mister McCoy's down there already, too." She giggled again. "Of course, every new reading they get just makes him say 'Fascinating!', but, hey! We'll figure it all out, eventually." She led the way towards the lower levels, and the well-equipped laboratories of the Xavier Institute for Gifted Students, home of the X-Men. She babbled on about who had been turned into what, and Kurt trailed behind, nodding occasionally at the Poke'names he could remember, and groaning the while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry, Wrong Channel!**

A Crossover fanfic by _A J_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters, but the plot is all mine.

Prequel Chapter 2

Just after _Cruise Control_:

The massive energy wave flashed over Salem Center like a forest fire, burning away all that was before.

"I cannot belief zis is happening!" Kurt muttered as he followed the hyper pink cat into the sublevels that were the headquarters of the X-Men. Kitty giggled as his accent worsened with stress.

"Believe it, Elf," a gruff voice said from a side tunnel as they passed. "How else're ya gonna explain the fact that Chuck's got our worst enemies down in Hank's lab, tryin' ta figure out where it started."

"Our vorst … zhe Brozzerhood ist here?"

"In Professor McCoy's lab?" Kitty added.

"Yep," a blue-and-black doglike creature said, coming out of the shadows. He stood upright, unlike Kitty in her new pink form, and eyed the two. "Figures you'd latch onta yer best friend, Elf. You should go check on yer sister next. She's awake, but I don't think she's takin' this well."

"Mein sister, Logan?" Kurt uttered, placing the voice finally, instead of trying to work out the kind of creature he was looking at. He noticed the surly Canadian had foregone the nametag idea, like Kitty. "Oh, Rogue … Ja, we will head zere next, instead. If ze Brozzerhood is in Doctor McCoy's lab, it's best we stay out from underfoot." He cast another look in tiny Kitty's direction, and she pricked up her ears, thinking it over as well.

"Yeah, you're probably right, Kurt. I saw them all when they came in, and none of 'em were exactly what I could call lightweights." She waved her tail agitatedly, and Logan sighed.

"Alright, git, you two. I've gotta go check on the defenses to make sure this … whatever … didn't scramble anythin' else up." He started to stomp away, when he turned back to look at Kitty again. "Hey, Cat-scratch. "What'd ya say I was again?"

"A Lucario," she giggled, preening. "It's a steel and fighting type, which is like so obviously you, ya know?" She scampered down the hall, Kurt following resignedly in her wake.

"Whatever," Logan rumbled, shaking his head and continuing on his errand.

_Wrong Channel!_

"You're sure about this, Eric?" Charles Xavier said, turning his chair in the direction of the floating electromagnet beside him.

"As certain as I can be with these instruments and my own senses, Charles," Magneto said to the yellow foxlike being in the chair. "Cerebro was certain this isn't just a telepathic implantation, making people _think_ they're these different creatures, and we've both already seen that it has affected everyone worldwide …"

"With a few exceptions," Charles interrupted, "such as extraterrestrial visitors, and our few multidimensional citizens."

"Den dis t'ing be entirely Eart'bound," Gambit said. The others turned to look at the Cajun. He was currently a small, tan koala-like creature, with swirled patterns in his fur and a cloudy, disconcerting filmy cover over his glowing crimson eyes. The stone behemoth next to him stomped a foot, making the room shake.

"Who'd want to turn the whole world into Pokemon?" he grumbled. "Don't we have enough problems?"

"This may be someone's misguided attempt to play equalizer actually, Lance," Xavier said softly. He sounded surprised himself by the idea, and wondered why it hadn't occurred to him before. "Raven, could you give Moira McTaggert a call, and see if she knows how her son is?"

"Surely you don't think ..?" the blue bloblike being asked, bending her form from something approximating a humanoid to an avian shape and back.

"This does seem like the work of a younger mind," Magneto hummed, letting his EM field manipulate a couple controls on a nearby monitor. The lawn of the White House came onscreen, and they were relieved to see that no obvious riots were taking place … yet. "But Kevin McTaggert has been in a suspension module since his last power outburst, much like your stepbrother, Charles."

The sudden reminder made Xavier look up worriedly, and he activated yet another monitor, this one a dedicated closed-circuit that showed Juggernaut's unique prison. Cain (at least he assumed the gigantic floating shape in the tank restraints was Cain Marko,) was safely asleep still, and the facility was undamaged, as would most surely NOT have been the case if he'd gotten loose. Xavier sighed. He heard a muted chuckle behind him. "Yes Mister Vanders?" he asked.

"Juggernaut's a … Hariyama ..!" Lance blurted, his gigantic four-armed rocky body curling over as he laughed. The black and orange frog next to him laughed as well.

"Can we send your kids back upstairs with the rest?" the giant orange and white mongoose growled down at Mystique, who was now in the shape of a floorlamp, clearly enjoying her new freedom of form.

"Hush, Victor. This is an unprecedented learning experience for them. Don't spoil it." She changed her upright body into an ornate curlicue, fluttering her eyes back up at him. She _was_ having fun. Normally restricted to a vertebrate body with her mutation, she was reveling in the ability to turn herself into _anything_ that she'd been granted.

"Well, there's no sign that this is harmful," Hank McCoy's voice said from behind them all. They turned to see his blue hands and one foot all rearranging a set of test tubes on the counter he was hanging above by his other foot, his pig-like nose scrunched up in concentration. "All I can find is a lingering trace of anaphasic particles, not unlike what we found when Piotr's sister Illianna disappeared."

"Anaphasic … you mean … this was … magic?" The giant steel statue at the doorway cried, his angular features betraying nothing of the pain in his voice.

"I would hate to hazard a guess like that without consulting with Doctor Strange or somebody else as learned, but … I think so," Beast sighed, dropping down to floor level with the rest of them.

"I could see if Mizz Harkness could get me an appointment to see him," the fuzzy pink fairy sitting on top of the green dog next to Magneto said. The green dog looked up in annoyance.

"Doyou_mind_,Wanda?" it asked in a rush.

"Why no, Pietro, not at all," Wanda replied with a smirk, getting comfortable on his lightning-striped back. He sighed.

"Well, it sounds like we have some places to start with, at least," Xavier said, looking around at the others. He settled his gaze on Lance again. "You say this … game … originates from Japan?" Lance nodded, still chuckling intermittently whenever he looked too closely at what each of his friends and teammates had become. He _had_ to get together with Kitty, and compare notes soon. "Then we should send a team there, as well, and see what we can learn, if anything."

"Make sure to include Wolverine," Mystique said, her body now wrapped around the bulky frame of Fred Dukes, giving him the illusion of pinstriping. Of them all, he was the least physically changed. His already-oversized form had merely grown a fuzzy pelt, dark grey on his backside, and his ears were now two little triangles on top of his head. He tended to yawn a lot more often, but otherwise, he didn't even feel all that different. He giggled girlishly as Mystique's movements tickled his wide belly. "He know's the country and the language best of all of us," Raven continued, giving Blob a sharp poke.

"Agreed," Magneto and Xavier both sighed, and fell to deciding who to send along with the taciturn ruffian. Lance gave the frog a jog with a random elbow. The extra limbs were going to take some getting used to.

"C'mon, Toad. Let's go see what the X-midgets have all been turned into." Toad grinned his overwide smile, and the pair went back to the main levels of the mansion. After a cautionary word from his father, Pietro reluctantly followed them, Wanda still riding on him. He grumbled the whole way.

_Wrong Channel!_

"Oh, this won't end well," Scott said quietly, looking at the rest of the younger X-Men and students gathered in the baseball diamond. If mutant kickball had been a bad idea, how weird was pokemon kickball going to be? His gloomy outlook and misleading team name had apparently been used against him in this transformation. Kitty (_'Skitty, now,' _he reminded himself,) had told him he was a ghost-type named Dusklops. He turned his shadowy form to glance at the glory that was now Jean. She was a flamboyantly marked green and purple bird known as a Xatu, a flying psychic being of wonder. _'Speaking of Skitty …'_ his thought-train continued. "Where're our last two troublemakers? The rest are all out here."

"Skitty and MediKurt are downstairs cheering up SmeaRogue," Jean answered absently, watching the kids argue themselves into two teams. How were half of them even going to play? Not everyone had even kept a semblance of _limbs_. Their umpire wasn't much better off, either. Storm, never the intellectual that Professor Xavier or McCoy were, had opted to stay with the younger mutants, just in case. She was little better than a wispy cloud now, though, something Skitty had called a Castform, or Weather Pokemon. The whole thing just made Jean's head spin.

Even stranger were the few normal humans she could sense in her admittedly limited range outside the grounds. The people she'd mentally peeked at were totally oblivious of anything being wrong. They were certain that this was the way the world had always been. The young couple who lived nearest to Xavier's school were now a young couple of fire-breathing foxes, and their nearest neighbor was an elderly fisherman who had become a walrus. Skitty had identified them as a pair of Vulpixes and a Walrein. She noticed the strange look Scott was giving her with his single see-through eye. "What?"

"Just … What's you call them?" he blurted, a frown forming in his ghostly mummy-wrappings. Jean chuckled.

"It's how Skitty's identifying all of us, now," she chirped. "She's adding our poke-type to our names so we'll all know who's what."

"Why would she bother?"

"Apparently, there're almost five hundred _kinds_ of pokemon," Jean replied, turning back to the ball field, where Roberto was floating up to kick for his team. "SolRoberto's a Solrock, for example, a fire and rock type, and JubElekidee's an Elekid, a juvenile form of one of the more-powerful electric pokemon," she continued, pointing with one wing at the other team's pitcher.

"Forget nametags," Scott sighed. "We're all gonna be wearing five-by-sevens, telling each other what we are and what to watch out for," he continued, recalling what Skitty had told them that morning about type-trumping over breakfast. The only other kid it had made any sense to had been Amara, who admitted to playing the early games when she was younger, but she hadn't been able to check out the newer ones since she'd grown into her burning magma touch. It had made playing with handheld plastic-encased electronics difficult to say the least, she'd sighed.

_Wrong Channel!_

"Aw, _geez,"_ Marie whined, looking forlornly at her brother and his BFF. "Would ya'all knock that crap aout already? Lookit me! Ah'm a _monkey,_ fer God's sake! This cain't be happenin'," she continued, muttering. Her tail waved behind her, stiff and shaking with her irritation.

"No, you're a Smeargle, Rogue," Kitty countered, patting her paw on top of Marie's comfortingly through the latter's blanket. Rogue hadn't had a chance to pull her gloves back on from their resting place on her nightstand.

"Aind what the H E double-kickstainds is a _Smear-gull?"_ Rogue bit out, ticked. Kitty (who kept insisting Marie call her _Skitty,_ for no good reason,) just grinned, and turned to Kurt (who she'd only recognized by his grey-gold eyes, and his Gallic sigh.) Which he let loose another of, and held out the handheld device he'd 'ported up to the two girl's room to get.

Rogue looked at the small screen of the machine for a minute, taking in the scant information Kitty's copy of Pokemon Diamond said about the pokemon in question. "Alraight, so … Ah'm a monkey who cain paint? Go on," she added, borrowing a line she remembered from when she'd touched Rahne, "pull the othah one."

"No, no, you're not getting it," Skitty said, carefully taking her Gameboy back. "We've all become the pokemon we have _because_ of our abilities, or something that makes us more like that pokemon than anything else." She cycled the pokedex screen up a few entries (she preferred to keep hers alphabetical,) to the Skitty info. "I'm a normally bubbly, playful person, named for a cat, so that's what I became. Kurt here is a better-than-average fighter who can also teleport, so he became a Meditite, which is one of the few who can do both, and your ability, which lets you take other people's talents, is closest to the Smeargle, who can learn other pokemons' moves with a touch of its tail."

"Yuh mean it maight be only in mah _tail,_now?" Marie asked, hurriedly pulling her tail in under the blanket as well. It had been swishing dangerously close to Kurt a second before.

"Ah, maybe ve should find zomeone zafe to test zhat on," her brother said worriedly.

"Well, _thait_ only lets in one person," Rogue frowned, and nabbed up the nearby intercom. Clicking it on, she cleared her throat. "Would Mister Logan please report ta the infirmary, please?"

"You zaid please tvice," Kurt told her, chuckling.

"Look who we're aiskin'," Marie countered. They waited in worried silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry, Wrong Channel!**

A Crossover fanfic by _A J_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters, but the plot is all mine.

Just after _Cruise Control_:

The massive energy wave flashed over Salem Center like a forest fire, burning away all that was before ...

Prequel Chapter 3

Logan was seconds from entering the lab, when the door opened up disgorging the Brotherhood kids, and Rogue's page rang over the P.A. system. "Just a sec, Stripe …" the Lucario grumbled, dodging around a speeding green blur with a pink puffy passenger on its back. He pushed his way through to McCoy's lab. "Hey, Chuck, the defenses check out," Logan said, then turned to head back to the infirmary with a private grin. He knew Xavier _hated_ it when he called him 'Chuck', so Logan, being the naturally contrary type that he was, did it as often as possible.

"Just a moment, Logan," Charles said, and the Canadian poke'mutant cringed inwardly, expecting the usual boring reprimand. "We need you to take a team to Japan. Pick six people from among the X-men and the Brotherhood to go with you and Henry." Logan spun around in shock; _that_ he hadn't expected. Quickly regaining his composure, he sent a glance Henry's way.

"And Wanda," Magneto added, before McCoy could do more than acknowledge Logan's look with a grunt. "If this is indeed a magical attack, she may be your team's best defense in an emergency."

"Just one quibble there, Mags," Logan began. "Isn't she nuttier 'n a fruitcake?" Magneto traded an annoyed look with Mystique, while Sabertooth buried a guffaw against his furry white and orange forearm. "No offense, but I don't wanna be the one to take the girl over the international dateline if she's gonna pop her cork 'n take the jet , _and us_, straight inta the Dragon's Triangle in a huff."

"I can assure you, reports of my daughter's mental trials are greatly exaggerated," Magneto replied. "She's fine … so long as she's not stuck alone with Telanski too long," he finished with a staticy sigh.

"Well, that's any of us," Sabertooth couldn't help throwing in with a toothy grin. This briefing had finally become _fun_. He'd have to remember to thank the runt later.

As if he'd heard the other former Weapon X member's thought, (Which, with the Prof sittin' there was a distinct possibility, Victor mused,) Logan returned the feral grin. "Alright, ya just made the shortlist, bub. You and the two blues meet me in the hanger in twenty. I gotta go see who's hurt now, first," the Lucario said, and spun back to head for the infirmary.

"_Two_ blues?"" Hank and Victor both asked, sharing a confused glance, then sighed as they realized Logan must mean Mystique as well, who was gamboling back and forth between them in her silent laughter.

_Wrong Channel!_

As soon as Logan made it back to the infirmary, the trio explained Skitty's theory. "Yer kiddin, right?" He traded uneasy looks with Rogue. They both clearly still remembered her Apocalypse-orchestrated attack on her own team and the Brotherhood a few weeks ago.

"Your's iz ze only ability ve can zafely think to test zis vith," Kurt sighed.

"It ain't laike ah'm gonna trah ta grow back an arm each taime," Rogue said. "Ah'm just gonna poke mah finger with this, aind see when it heals." She held up a finger-lancet, used for blood testing. She held the older poke'mutant's gaze for a moment, her own reluctance obvious, but her - _their_ - need to know just as clear. Logan nodded once, and stepped forward, hand extended.

"Raight …" Marie held the lancet up, and took aim at one of her fingers. Three aborted tries later, she squeamishly handed it to her brother. "Ah don't believe this," she muttered, as he took it with gloved hands and a grin. "Ah cain kick kiester with the roughest of y'all, and cain't poke mah own daimn fingah."

"Any time, Elf,' Logan chuckled. Kurt waved his hands with a flourish, like a stage magician, then just reached out and poked Rogue's right ring finger without further ado.

"Aowch! _Sunnovah ..!_ Marie remembered at the last second not to stick her finger in her mouth, and held it up instead, trying to watch clinically as a large drop of blood welled out of the tiny wound, and threatened to trickle onto the white sheets. "Alraight …" She reached out her left hand, and touched fingertips with the still-chuckling Lucario. She waited, they all did, for several seconds, but her bleeding didn't stop, and she hurriedly turned her hand so the blood would trail down her finger to her cupped palm. "Oh, mah …" She turned wondering eyes back to Logan, who's laughter died down at her expression of sheer disbelief.

"Just vun last thing to try," Kurt said, breaking into her reverie.

"Raight .." Marie muttered. She reluctantly brought her tail out from under the covers and around to in front of Logan. "Whenevah yer ready." He nodded, and lightly grasped the skunk-striped end of her tufted tail.

The effect was instantaneous. As soon as they made contact, the four all watched as the little rivulet of blood reversed course and flowed back _into_ Rogue's fingertip. Logan let go even as it sealed back up.

"Zair, mystery zolved," Kurt grunted with a grin. Marie couldn't help returning it.

"Yeah, naow Ah cain jest wrap it in a leg-warmah, and fainally work on mah tan again." The siblings' laughter was interrupted by a thud from behind Kurt. Turning, the other three found that Skitty had fainted.

_Wrong Channel!_

The elevator doors opened to the Blackbird hangar, and Logan had started towards the jet to get the preflight started when the Professor telekinetically tapped him on the shoulder. "One moment, Logan …We have company," Xavier said.

"Guess that's our cue, sis," a teen male voice squeaked from the far side of the X-jet. "You sure about this, T'ree?"

"I gotta be," a female answered. "Or I'm gonna be too nervous to do anything besides spontaneously combust." A pair of monkeys came out, one with red dreads tied back off his pig-nosed face, (making the X-folk and Sabertooth look at Hank surreptitiously,) and another with bold swaths of white and red fur over its body, and a tail with a flaming tip.

"Who the flamin' ..?" Logan started, earning him a round of chuckles from his search team.

"Miss Cook and her brother are here to help you join other heroes working towards the same goal in Japan," Charles Xavier told them.

"Are you sure you don't want to come along, and make it a baker's dozen, Charles?" Mystique asked, reforming into a living question mark.

"No, Raven. My place is here, to reassure our other allies in the face of this mystery." He mused silently for a moment. "Should we hear from Doctor Strange, we will send word after you."

"Might be better if you sent the Doc himself on a house call," Sabertooth rumbled. He _hated_ dealing with magic.

"_That's_forsure," Pietro Maximoff added, at the same time Peter Cook said "True dat." Their sister's both laughed.

"Alright, it's a long flight," Logan sighed. "We can get ta know each other on the plane. Let's go, team … and guests …" he added belatedly, looking at the two young monkeys.

"Actually, I think we can speed things up a bit …" Taranee said as they boarded the Blackbird. "Have you ever heard of teletransportation?"


End file.
